Love: One word, multiple properties
1.
2.
You are so young, so much before all beginning, and I would like to beg you, dear sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now.
4.
The answer to all your questions is within you. Don't search for the questions, just follow your heart to what you think feels right. Life is short and if you're hating something in life for just a minute, that is a minute wasted. Enjoy life to the fullest and don't waste your time hating something. Learn to love what you hate. When you learn to do this your life can only prosper. Hate is such a strong word and can never positively affect someones life. But on the other hand love is such a powerful word that opens up millions of doors for your future. Stop closing doors by hating and start opening them by loving. Not only will your future be bright, but so will you.
5.
But take whatever comes, with great trust, and as long as it comes out of your will, out of some need of your innermost self, the take it upon yourself, and don't hate anything.
6.
Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms even if it doesn't comprehend. Don't ask for any understanding; but believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.
7.
I love my family and it's an unconditional love that will never vanish no matter the circumstances. Yes, they can upset me, but I'll never stop loving them. I'm going away to college this fall and that doesn't mean my family will stop loving me. It just means our love will grow the distance. The love my family and I have for one another is limitless. No distance can stop or lessen the love we have. Love has no limits and no matter the distance between my family and I, I will always know my family will love me the same or possibly even more than when I left.
8.
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
9.
Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether is has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write.
Think for just a minute about something you couldn't live without. That something you just thought about is surrounded by love. You love doing that one thing enough that if you don't do it your happiness no longer exists. Everyone wants to be happy in life and get a job that brings in money but that's not all. If you aren't doing something that you love, how in the world will you ever be happy? The key to happiness is love. The two correlate together in every way possible. If you wish to have a happy future seek a career in something you love. By making this choice you'll never be sad, because how could you possible be sad when all your surrounded by is love?
11.
Don't torment them with your doubts and don't frighten them with your faith or joy, which they wouldn't be able to comprehend. Seek out some simple and true feelings of what you have in common with them, which doesn't necessarily have to alter when you yourself change again and again; when you see them, love life in a form that is not your own.
12.
After they had been inseparable-Beulah's health went into a rapid decline. She died in a Seattle hospital room, the blind man sitting beside the bed and holding on to her hand. They'd married, lived lived and worked together, slept together-had sex, sure-and then the blind man had to bury her. All this without his having ever seen what the g-ddamned woman looked like.
13.
Love is as critical for your mind and body as oxygen. It's not negotiable. The more connected you are, the healthier you will be both physically and emotionally. The less connected you are, the more you are at risk.
It is also true that the less love you have, the more depression you are likely to experience in your life. Love is probably the best antidepressant there is because one of the most common sources of depression is feeling unloved. Most depressed people don't love themselves and they do not feel loved by others. They also are very self-focused, making them less attractive to others and depriving them of opportunities to learn the skills of love.
There is a mythology in our culture that love just happens. As a result, the depressed often sit around passively waiting for someone to love them. But love doesn't work that way. To get love and keep love you have to go out and be active and learn a variety of specific skills.
Most of us get our ideas of love from popular culture. We come to believe that love is something that sweeps us off our feet. But the pop-culture ideal of love consists of unrealistic images created for entertainment, which is one reason so many of us are set up to be depressed. It's part of our national vulnerability, like eating junk food, constantly stimulated by images of instant gratification. We think it is love when it's simply distraction and infatuation.
One consequence is that when we hit real love we become upset and disappointed because there are many things that do not fit the cultural ideal. Some of us get demanding and controlling, wanting someone else to do what we think our ideal of romance should be, without realizing our ideal is misplaced.
It is not only possible but necessary to change one's approach to love to ward off depression. Follow these action strategies to get more of what you want out of life—to love and be loved.
- Recognize the difference between limerance and love. Limerance is the psychological state of deep infatuation. It feels good but rarely lasts. Limerance is that first stage of mad attraction whereby all the hormones are flowing and things feel so right. Limerance lasts, on average, six months. It can progress to love. Love mostly starts out as limerance, but limerance doesn't always evolve into love.
- Know that love is a learned skill, not something that comes from hormones or emotion particularly. Erich Fromm called it "an act of will." If you don't learn the skills of love you virtually guarantee that you will be depressed, not only because you will not be connected enough but because you will have many failure experiences.
- Learn good communication skills. They are a means by which you develop trust and intensify connection. The more you can communicate the less depressed you will be because you will feel known and understood.
There are always core differences between two people, no matter how good or close you are, and if the relationship is going right those differences surface. The issue then is to identify the differences and negotiate them so that they don't distance you or kill the relationship.
You do that by understanding where the other person is coming from, who that person is, and by being able to represent yourself. When the differences are known you must be able to negotiate and compromise on them until you find a common ground that works for both.
- Focus on the other person. Rather than focus on what you are getting and how you are being treated, read your partner's need. What does this person really need for his/her own well-being? This is a very tough skill for people to learn in our narcissistic culture. Of course, you don't lose yourself in the process; you make sure you're also doing enough self-care.
- Help someone else. Depression keeps people so focused on themselves they don't get outside themselves enough to be able to learn to love. The more you can focus on others and learn to respond and meet their needs, the better you are going to do in love.
- Develop the ability to accommodate simultaneous reality. The loved one's reality is as important as your own, and you need to be as aware of it as of your own. What are they really saying, what are they really needing? Depressed people think the only reality is their own depressed reality.
- Actively dispute your internal messages of inadequacy. Sensitivity to rejection is a cardinal feature of depression. As a consequence of low self-esteem, every relationship blip is interpreted far too personally as evidence of inadequacy. Quick to feel rejected by a partner, you then believe it is the treatment you fundamentally deserve. But the rejection really originates in you, and the feelings of inadequacy are the depression speaking.
Recognize that the internal voice is strong but it's not real. Talk back to it. "I'm not really being rejected, this isn't really evidence of inadequacy. I made a mistake." Or "this isn't about me, this is something I just didn't know how to do and now I'll learn." When you reframe the situation to something more adequate, you can act again in an effective way and you can find and keep the love that you need.
15.
Love is gray. You can chose whatever you want to do with it in your life. Many people consider love to be a sexual relationship between two people, meanwhile; others see love as a statement meaning I would risk my life for you. You need to distinguish for yourself what love means to you. Love can mean many different things for people and not everyone is the same when it comes to love. You may find that the word love has no sexual meaning but better yet a promise. Adventure into your life and find out for yourself where love falls in your life. Who knows, it could be right in front of you.
16.
With a mindset that the glass is always half full there is more to love. Not everything in life is easily attainable. Everyone has their advantages and disadvantages but you must train yourself to put that all behind. Focus on the possible moments in life. These moments are where you'll fall in love. With success love is around the corner. When people succeed in a task they begin to love doing it. Find what you're good at and simply let go and fall in love. Once you release all the unnecessary negatives all that will be left is positives. Fall into love with success.
17.
stand with your lover on the ending earth-
and while a (huge by which huger than
huge) whoing sea leaps to greenly hurl snow, suppose we could not love, dear; imagine
ourselves like living neither nor dead these
(or many thousands hearts which don’t and dream
or many million minds which sleep and move)
blind sand, at pitiless the mercy of
time time time time time
how fortunate are you and I, whose home
is timelessness: we who have wandered down
from fragrant mountains of eternal now
to frolic in such mysteries as birth
and death a day (or maybe even less)
18.
It is also good to love: because love is difficult. For one human being to love another human being: that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation. That is why young people, who are beginners in everything, are not yet capable of love: it is something they must learn. With their whole being, with all their forces, gathered around their solitary, anxious, upward-beating heart, they must learn to love.
19.
1. Together. Google Search
2. "What Does Love Mean To You?" YouTube. YouTube, 14 Feb. 2007. Web. 18 Apr. 2013.
3. Rilke, Rainer Maria, and Franz Xaver Kappus. Letters to a Young Poet. New York: Norton,
1954. Print. (34)
4. Personal Reflection
5. Rilke, Rainer Maria. (35)
6. Rilke, Rainer Maria. (43)
7. Personal Reflection
8. Cummings, E.e. "[i Carry Your Heart with Me(i Carry It In]." By E. E. Cummings : The Poetry
Foundation. N.p., n.d. Web. 18 Apr. 2013.
9. Rilke, Rainer Maria. (6)
10. Personal Reflection
11. Rilke, Rainer Maria. (42)
12. Carver, Raymond. Cathedral. London: Vintage, 2003. Print.
13. McGrath, Ellen. "Power of Love." Psychology Today. N.p., 01 Dec. 2002. Web. 18 Apr. 2013.
14. "Spoken Word Poetry: Is Love Dead?" YouTube. YouTube, 26 Dec. 2011. Web. 18 Apr. 2013.
15. Personal Reflection
16. Personal Reflection
17. Cummings, E.e. "Black Wolf's Song." Black Wolfs Song. N.p., n.d. Web. 18 Apr. 2013.
18. Rilke, Rainer Maria. (68-69)
19. Embrace. Google Search
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